Hellsing Caos
by DaughterofVlad
Summary: Hellsing id turned upside down when Alucard gets insulted by a girl then get a Toaster thrown at him. What caos these two girls are messengers of GOD! Rated for extremely un god like words


Hey people! I'm back with a new friggin story! WOOT!

Disclaimer: only own the insanity of this fic and the evilness Rayna and Jeunelle

Intro

It was a cold but clear night, the air was empty, not a single sound was heard... aside from the quarreling of two girls that is...

"Rayna shut your Friggin trap! I know where we are!" a girl with long reddish brown hair yelled to the girl next to her. "Now Jeunelle, you shouldn't yell at your elders." Stated the girl with short black spiky hair.

"Elder my ass, your only one fucking years older than me!" Jeunelle shouted, Rayna sighed. "So? I've still got one year on you shorty" replied Rayna. "Now Ray, you know I am only one inch shorter than your self" Jeunelle smirked.

"Let's just get to this Village..." Rayna grumbled as Jeunelle laughed at her small and extremely stupid victory. "Don't worry we're almost there" she answered.

"So what exactly do they need our help with?" questioned Rayna. "Vampires" responded Jeunelle. "Hmm, it's been a while since we've had to face their kind" Jeunelle nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, we usually are stuck exterminating lowly ghosts, this is gonna be awesome!" Jeunelle exclaimed happily, Rayna sighed. "You know Jeunelle, some days I wonder if you are mentally stable" Jeunelle looked at her with a Homicidal grin.

"Now my dear friend what would give you an idea like that?" Jeunelle questioned innocently. "Never mind, there's the village" Rayna replied while pointing to the village which had just snuck up to them.

"Exhalent, AHAHAHAHA!" Jeunelle began to laugh insanely while Rayna shook her head, right after this she needed to find a physiatrist who wouldn't die after their first session with Jeunelle.

Location:

Cedar wood

A small village to the north of London

Population:

120, 3freak Vampire, 84 ghouls, 33 human's

Objective:

Destroy the freak Vampire and all who stand in you way

Alucard grinned as he finished reading the crisp piece of paper in his grasp. So, he thought to him self, It's one of those missions.

He let go of the paper and let it fly away in the wind, and he then started his journey to the Village.

"Damn, stupid human's they left out the part where there was three friggin Vampires" Rayna muttered as she blocked off three more ghouls. "How yah doin Jeunelle?" Rayna asked as she turned to her friend, only to find that Jeunelle was actually enjoying herself.

Rayna just sighed; it seems Jeunelle was having the time of her life. Rayna simply grumbled. "Isn't this fun Rayna!" Jeunelle squealed with glee. "Oh yes lot's friggin Fun..." Rayna muttered under her breath.

"Vampire, one o'clock" Jeunelle yelled to her friend. Rayna whipped around and sliced the Vampire in two. "Thanks Jeunelle" Rayna said as she turned around only to see Jeunelle fighting the two other Vampires.

"I'll help" Rayna yelled as she ran closer. "No! I can handle it" Jeunelle snapped back. "Brave little bitch aren't yah" laughed the vampire to her left. "Yeah, maybe we should rape her friend then kill her" said the other Vampire.

Jeunelle grinned evilly, and then looked up at the two Vampires. "Do you know what happens to vampires when they get set on fire?" Jeunelle asked, the two Vampires looked at each other like it was some kind of a joke.

"The same thing that happens when they go out in the sun" Jeunelle replied, she grabbed both of their heads and fire shot out of her hands and their heads blew up. "See, I told you I could handle it!" Jeunelle exclaimed happily.

Rayna sighed as she walked up to Jeunelle. "You know you really need a shrink" Rayna grumbled. "Rayna, run" Jeunelle muttered, Rayna stopped and gave her a questioning look. "Why?" she asked her friend.

"Because, I can't move" Jeunelle replied with a small grin. "Hmm I must say it is taking quite a bit of my strength to keep you under this spell" said an evil voice. "Who said that?" Rayna yelled.

"The boogie man?" Jeunelle questioned. "I highly doubt that the boogie is the one doing this to you" Rayna said to her friend, Jeunelle suddenly walked up to Rayna as if there wasn't even a spell on her; she could be a blond some times.

"Well, it could have been the boogie man" Jeunelle wined. "Listen to me!" Alucard said in frustration. "Shut up!" Jeunelle yelled as she threw the nearest thing at Alucard, which just so happened to be a Toaster.

As the toaster slid slowly down his face, Jeunelle realized the mistake she had made. "Umm" was all she could say to the extremely pissed Nosferatu. "You two are coming with me" He yelled. "Hell no!" Jeunelle yelled back.

Alucard then walked up to her and threw her over his shoulder. "I suggest that you follow unless you want to be like your friend" he explained to Rayna, she simply nodded her head and followed. "Let me go! I said put me down now you perverted undead maggot!" Jeunelle protested in frustration, for his hand was to close to her bottom for comfort.

Integra waited patiently for Alucard to return. As she looked up she noticed a tall and slim form. As he got closer she noticed he wasn't alone. Alucard walked up to her with a girl on his shoulder and another close behind. "Who is this Alucard?" she asked him, he better not have mad more 'children'.

"That is what I would like to know" he said with a growl, she had to se who mad him this mad and congratulate them. "Would you be so kind as to LET GO OF MY FUCKING ASS YOU FUCKING UNDEAD HOAR!" Jeunelle yelled right in the Vampires ear. "Gladly!" he dropped Jeunelle on her but.

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO MR. I'M A FUCKING VAMPIRE MONKEY FUCKER, YOU CAN KISS MY ANGELIC ASS!" Jeunelle screeched. "YOU ANGELIC DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH! AND I AM NOT A MONKEY FUCKER!" Alucard yelled back.

Jeunelle got up and grabbed his jacket. "Say that again" she said, tempting him to make her loose it. "You could never be an angel, they wear only pure colors to start, they don't kill and they are pretty." He said, the last thing made Jeunelle snap.

"I suggest we back up" Rayna said as she pulled Integral fifteen feet away from the two of them. "Why?" she asked, Rayna sighed. "Like I have said many times before, Jeunelle need help, when she get tempted she has an at tendency to go, umm how can I put it. Berserk? Evil? Supernova?" Rayna replied.

Jeunelle's eyes began to glow red, the aura that surrounded Alucard and Jeunelle was so strong it made the wolves cry. A set of fiery angel wings burst out of her back. All of a sudden the two of them were surrounded by a huge light, but as soon as it came it was gone.

Jeunelle blink back to normal. "Hey why are you all the way over there?" Jeunelle asked the two girls. "That was" Rayna started. "Ingenious! AHAHAHA!" Integra finished.

Alucard reconfigured and glared at Jeunelle. "How would you two like a job at Hellsing?" Integra asked, in which Alucard's jaw dropped to the ground.

"Rayna?" Jeunelle questioned. "Hmm, well...

Jeunelle sat in the Hellsing library reading a book while Rayna was out side shoot some random things. Jeunelle knew that life would be good. Of course it would be she got food, she could take her anger out on Vampires and Ghouls, and there was the monthly Alucard hunt with Integra she could look forward to. All in all life was good.

Okay so that's it! I will have more installments hopefully soon.


End file.
